Americans are to knowledge as Sheyl is to _____

a) Long Island drivers
b) loud snotty-nosed kids
c) a certain person who shall not be named (*cough* rhymes with Furia *cough*)
d) people who mess up her lab space
e) all of the above

If you realized that the relationship theme in this word puzzle was "hostility" and thus answered e) you might want to check out this article from the NYTimes on the demise of an intelligent American culture.

As a side note the person referenced in choice c) could be classified as anti-rationalist, based on the article, which makes a lot of sense, though it in no way makes that person normal or sane or remotely human.

Irony?

I'm not sure what's funnier about this article:
1) the police failed to catch the individual
2) his name is Wiley
3) or just imagining Wiley trying to drive a stick shift

and am I the only one having flash-backs to a particular scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail?